Mini retirement month 6 check-in
I can't believe it's been almost six months since I stopped working. I'm more than halfway through this adventure and 25% into the Asia portion of this experience. Seoul is such an interesting place. Even though it's a huge city (the seventh largest in the world), it doesn't feel overwhelming the way NYC always did. Maybe it's because I'm less overwhelmed, or because everyone here looks like me, but I feel at home here in a way I haven't felt elsewhere. I know this is where I belong right now.
In my last check-in post, I highlighted a few priorities for my remaining time. First on that list was cultivating a more peaceful and centered inner state by renewing my yoga and meditation practice. Since it's a new year, I decided to set a monthly goal of practicing 90% of days, which equals 27 days of practice. To give myself a few passes, I can make up a missed day by practicing a second time on a different day. At first it was hard to get into a morning routine, but lately I find myself reaching for the yoga mat after I've had my morning coffee.
For the first time in a while, yoga and exercise feel like a gift, like something I am lucky I get to do for myself, rather than a dreaded chore. I think my attitude is shifting, in part because I am feeling the benefits of my practice. My body feels more limber and open as I work towards getting back into the good shape I used to be in. I also think I'm realizing more acutely how important our health is. This is obvious and it isn't a new revelation, but as I get closer to thirty and look at others around me, this truth becomes more apparent.
I recently spent some time with a friend I've known since college. She is one of the most hardworking people I know and she has a lot of energy. She probably works 15+ hours a day and it shows...her body seemed completely wrecked. She has had a really bad cough that causes lung/chest pain since she had Covid in the spring and she kept mentioning a toothache. She knew she had to go to the dentist but had kept putting it off and was getting by with taking some pain relievers whenever the pain flared up. She also had a stomachache after dinner and complained of never being able to sleep more than a few hours.
Looking at her, I felt like I was looking in the mirror at a former image of myself. While I never worked as many hours as her, she looked and sounded like someone who only had work in her life. Even as we were on a roadtrip, she took call after call and replied to texts while driving on the highway at full speed. As much as I admire her for being a total badass business owner, it is hard to deny that her business success has come at a huge personal cost. I know what it's like to have work define your whole life, to put everything else second, but looking at her, it hit me harder than ever that we need to take care of our physical selves first in order to do anything else. Having this time to reset my nervous system, to rebuild a relationship with my somatic self, and the will to treat this body like a home feels like a priority more than ever.
I've gotten the chance to spend time with family living here, explore museums and art galleries, visit historical monuments and sites, and experience everyday life here. Unlike other trips that always felt rushed, this time around, I can take my time since I know I can always go back. While there have been many memorable experiences, some of the best days are the ones where I go to a cafe and enjoy a delicious cup of coffee and pastry while getting some work done. I've been seeing this trend on Instagram focused on romanticizing our daily lives and I think there's a lot of truth in enjoying the little moment of happiness in life. Finding a pair of gloves that you love, a friend picking up the tab unexpectedly, discovering a new song you can't stop listening to (I'm currently listening to 100 Bad Days), delighting in an unusually delicious meal...these are the loveliest of moments I'm learning to savor.
In the final module of the Mini Retirement Planning Course, I talk about how a mini retirement is the prime opportunity to explore and reflect on some key life themes. Among the ones I suggest, a big one for me is around career and money. Who am I without my job title to cling to? Who am I when I am not defined by work? This continues to be a hard one for me to answer. As much as I don't want to have to work, I find myself faltering between wanting to find something I am truly passionate about and being content with the present life I am living. I think this is a good practice in becoming more detached from my work identity and also in reweighing the value I want work to have in my life overall.
Traveling has also been a money psychology experiment in its own regard because I really do have to be mindful of my budget. When I worked, it was very easy to spend beyond my budget since I always justified with being able to make up for lost savings/investment with future cash flow. Obviously, the same does not apply right now, but I still find myself falling into that mindset. It's easy to spend now and regret later. It is a delicate dance between enjoying the present but also taking care of the future. While I do have a significant buffer fund available, I would prefer not to tap into it or use it all up. This is part of the grand experiment and we'll see where my numbers shake out in the months to come. One good thing about all of this is that it is really forcing me to be ruthless about cutting back on things that don't bring me joy.
All in all, I am enjoying my time. It feels wonderful to be in Korea and to have this time for myself. I know this is one of the most special chapters of my life and will be a time I can look back on in future hard times as a source of joy and inspiration.