Mini retirement check-in: month 5
It's hard to believe but five months have gone by since I was laid off, meaning it's been five months since I've had to do something because someone told me to do it or been forced to sit through a useless meeting. I don't have to constantly check Slack to make sure no one thinks I'm slacking off or work on projects that make me want to bang my head against the wall. These five months have blown by like so quickly. I feel like I'm in some kind of warped time zone where everything goes by faster. This really must be what they means when they say time flies when you're having fun. I'm happier and healthier than I have been in a long time. I feel like I am returning to a version of myself that I like, moving away from the anxious, angry, stressed out person I was while working. I'm creating space in my life for more joy, connection, and gratitude. I'm hoping the next few months bring in more creativity and clarity.
Because I have so much time, I find myself becoming a more patient version of myself. I no longer rush to go from place to place. I am more likely to let people go when driving. I don't mind missing a bus by a few minutes, because I know I have the time to wait for the next one. I'm more willing to stumble around, get lost, and just do what I'm feeling because I don't feel rushed. I know I have the luxury of time to do all the things I want. It's a type of time abundance that makes me more willing to spend my time effectively.
It's a blessing to experience this chapter, to be on this journey in my 29th evolution around the sun, but also scary because I know at some point I will have to go back to work and I cannot even begin to fathom what that will be like. Now that I have tasted freedom, I think it will be challenging to go back--to having my daily, weekly, monthly schedule revolve around work and the whims of other people. Even though a big part of this time is to figure out what I want to do next and how I want to spend my 30's, it's hard to imagine any kind of future right now. Maybe it's because I started traveling a few weeks ago and am still adjusting to being on a different continent. I'm searching for the answer to living a meaningful, worthwhile life. I want to live in a way where I can go to bed everyday saying, today I lived well.
That was the problem with my life before. Everyday, I went to bed asking myself why I lived the way I did. Why did I waste my energy and emotions on a job that felt useless and and like a waste of my time? Why did I actively participate in my own unhappiness? Why did I not make the changes that needed to happen? I think one issue was that I was not sure about what change to make. Changing jobs has a limited impact. Sure, you can change the characters, rules, and backdrop, but the game is basically the same. I need to change the game that I am playing, one where I decide the rules and when I can opt in and out of playing. The freedom that I am experience right now reinforces the notion that I need to achieve financial independence and being work optional as soon as possible. That's the only way you get to truly play the game you want.
Over the next six months my focus is on:
(1) My inner state: refocusing my yoga and meditation practice to cultivate an inner state of calm, one that is not at the whims of my outside situation, but one that I have full agency over. One things that I realized a few months ago was that I am not the deeply spiritual person I was 5 years ago. Back then, despite the stress of everyday living, I still felt connected to a deeper energy of oneness in the universe. I'd like to return to that connection.
(2) Energizing my creativity: Starting tomorrow, I will be resuming pottery classes. I found a cute, little, old-school studio where I will be taking 1:1 wheel throwing lessons. It's been a while since I've played with clay, so I'm excited to jump back in. I think I will try to take some cooking and flower arrangement classes next month.
(3) Engaging in meaningful work, of which I can be proud: I am currently working on several projects, one of which is a negotiation coaching business, SLAY negotiation, to help women and people of color get compensated their worth, as a way to speed up financial independence. The other main project is a business idea focused on an aging-in-place solution for older adults called Golden Home Modifications. I am super interested in this space and think think agetech, senior care, senior health and wellness, and caregiving could be something I focus on for the next decade.
(4) Learning and building new skills: I am focused on building skills to generate more passive income. I already took an options trading class in the fall and have been actively trading options since then. Given that I have decided to prioritize real estate over the next decade to build passive income and wealth, I am contemplating possible ways of becoming more savvy in this area...more to come on this.
These are some of the ways I want to rewrite the rules of the game I'm playing. I don't know how this game will end or even what "winning" will look like. For the first time in a long time, I'm trying to make peace with not knowing, with welcoming the unknown with open arms, with trusting myself.
Here's your reminder to be good, kind, and generous with yourself and others. Let's take care of ourselves, each other, and this beautiful planet we call home.