Things have been quiet in a good way

Things have been good lately. I am currently traveling again and enjoying being back by the ocean. One of my dreams is to live next to water. Up until now, I've mostly been envisioning living in a house on a lakefront property, but after spending so much time these past couple of months near the ocean, I'm starting to think that maybe magic is in the salt water. Either way, I love the feeling of being close to water. There's something so freeing about dipping your feet into the cold water. It feels like permission to just exist and to fill up with the joy of being alive.

I thought that I would be in full panic mode since according to my ideal timeline I should've had my next thing lined up and ready to go the minute I get back home. However, I've weirdly been sane about having no idea what is next. While I'm glad I'm not paralyzed with crippling anxiety, which used to feel like my default mode of existence, I'm now wondering if the lack of anxiety is resulting in a lack of motivation to grow up and figure things out.

I was lying in bed last night and just reflecting on how I'm already 30 years old with no idea about what to do next. My best friend is due with her first baby any day now and I'm here not even fully sure I consider myself an adult. On one hand, it's frustrating the avenues I'd thought would be open as a next step would be open are closed (for now), on the other hand it's an opportunity to dig deeper.

I'm finally getting my head around detaching my self identify from what I might do for work. While I have yet to read Simone Stolzoff's book, The Good Enough Job, I've listened to five different podcast episodes where he discusses some of the major concepts he explores and one of the things he continually mentions is the need to diversify what you do in life. If you spend all of your time and energy on work, then that's all you really have. If you invest in other ways of showing up and engaging with the world, work only becomes one part of you. That's what I've spent the last ten months doing: exploring, traveling, reading, writing, trying new things. I see myself more and more as a person who deeply enjoys and appreciates the beauty of our world rather than someone who works.

There's one other thing I really appreciate about Simone's perspective, which is that he views work in a balanced manner. He's not for or anti-work. Some people do what they love for work (likely more attachment of work to identity) and others don't or can't (likely less attachment of work to identity)--and neither is better or worse. At the end of the day, work is a contract where you show up because you get paid.

I had one of my best trading months and I've been seriously considering what it would be like to have trading become my primary source of income. It's probably not something I would've seriously considered an option a year ago, but has become more and more appealing.