Figuring out my superpower to figure out my next path
As a follow-up to my last post, mirroring Alex Su's follow-up to his most recent post on betting on yourself, I've been reflecting on my super power. I have known for a long time that the types of environments that I've been in have not been a good fit. As I shared in an earlier post, my dad once told me that once I figured out “my passion,” I would really thrive. That phrase has been stuck in my mind ever since. The reality that I had never thrived in my career despite all the expectations shrouded around a double Ivy League graduate. I think my parents were always confused and disappointed about how I could be so good at school but so average in my career. I was always the golden child who got good grades, was self-directed in all of my extracurriculars, and disciplined when it came to my studies.
When I got into Yale early, I know my parents felt like all of their hard work and sacrifices had paid off. They had achieved what the super wealthy Korean families who had spent tens of thousands of dollars on private tutors, college admissions advisors, etc. could not achieve -- even with all the money in the world. While I did go to hagwon for SAT prep, I didn't have any outside help on my college apps. I crafted my own narrative, wrote my own resume and essays, and did the whole process by myself. At that point, I seemed miles ahead of everyone else. Many of my parents' friends' kids went to lower Ivies or top 50 schools. However, when I see a lot of those people now, they seem to be doing great. They're in specialized fields like occupational therapy, law, pharmacy, etc. making a decent living.
I don't know whether or not they are happy and feel like they're in roles that are aligned with their strengths but they've done a great job expanding and fulfilling their potential. When I look at my career, I see someone who has not expanded and fulfilled her potential. I feel like I've shrunken and numbed myself -- all to be just an average performer. Part of wanting to get off this path is that I think my dad is right in some ways. It's not about finding passion but tapping into my strengths and finding ways to leverage them rather than ignore them to fit into the path I've been on. Our past is just our past if we choose to leave it behind. While it is natural to think about where we've been as we change and pivot in our career, it's important that we don't allow our past to dictate the future. If we operate with the same set of assumptions as we used to, there is no way that we can truly create a different path going forward.
Another point that Su makes in this recent post is that there is survivorship bias when we talk about success. It exists whether you stay in your chosen/ill fitting field or you branch out and try something else. As I realized how poorly suited I am to the traditional corporate ladder-climbing environment, it made me realize that staying and trying to compete with those who are naturally good at this / enjoy it is crazy. I used to have a co-worker who was so good at all the office politics, being a yes-man, smooth talking, and climbing the ladder. Corporate is meant for people like him. I'm at a clear disadvantage and believing that I can be successful in such an environment is a huge risk in and of itself. This is is the same sentiment of finding it utterly ridiculous at how hard I've been trying to find a mediocre job -- again, what is the purpose of a mediocre paying job at a mediocre company building mediocre things?
As I reflect on my superpower, there are a few areas that stand out:
Creativity: I love building and making things. From pottery to crafting to baking, I love the building process and creating beautiful and delightful experiences. Some of the projects I've enjoyed the most (both at work and outside of work) have been creative in some form and one thing I really enjoy is designing websites.
Storytelling: This is something others have mentioned to me multiple times. While I don't necessarily think of myself as a good storyteller, I think I am good at inspiring others and getting them excited about the things that I am excited about.
Curiosity: I am genuinely interested in most topics and excited to learn. This is what made me a good student and why I have so many interests. I like making connections across different topics, too.
And on the flip side, some weaknesses, which may point in the direction of things to avoid:
Detail oriented: As someone who always has at least a couple typos, I am not the type of person who likes or enjoys looking at small details like reading through contracts. The worst manager I ever had including being detail-oriented as a strength and it just reinforces how not true this is.
Conflict averse and dislike too much feedback: Some people love getting feedback. I am not one of those people. Most of the people who have given me feedback are not necessarily people I respect or see eye-to-eye on so why would their feedback be useful. I once had an interview where I asked about company and team culture and they said constant feedback was their number one thing. I immediately removed myself from the process. I do not need to be told every 5 minutes what is or is not going well. Along those lines, I don't like conflict so environments where there is a lot of disagreeing, fighting, conflict resolution also would not be ideal.
It's an interesting topic to journal and reflect on. Think about the things you enjoy or dislike--both in and out of work contexts. Ask people who you respect and trust what they think your unique talents are. Take some personality tests and read up on your type online and see what resonates. Next steps for me are figuring out what sorts of roles / environments would work for the above.