Consistency is the not-so-secret "secret sauce" to success and is also my nemesis

Consistency is one of my biggest weaknesses, but I know that it is critical for achieving what we want. This has been a tough pill to swallow and I'm a little embarrassed to be writing this post at all, but I've been thinking about this topic for a while and want to organize my thoughts. It does bother me that I lack discipline when it comes to focusing on a set number of priorities seriously. I thought this would be much easier to improve while not working full-time, but really just highlighted why I'm not as far along as I'd like to be on certain projects.

I'm very much a black and white, all-in / all-out type of person, and so when I'm super into something, I am 100% in. But if my interest wanes a little bit or I find a different project that I'm newly excited about, I'll pull back. Some of this is related to tactically setting up systems to build habits that are sustainable in long run. While I appreciate all the pointers in books like How to Change by Katy Milkman and Atomic Habits by James Clear, I don't think the recommendations they provide solve for this problem fundamentally. Tt certainly helps to stack habits or to choose the right timing of when to begin pursuit of a new goal, but I think there's something more complicated going on beneath our ability (or lack thereof) to nudge ourselves in the right direction constantly.

To better understand what's going on, it's helpful to think about times when I do and don't follow through. For "urgent" to-dos, especially for short-term goals imposed upon me like completing a project at work or studying for a test, I've actually found it very easy to focus and do what it takes to get the job done. In college and even grad school, I used to finish writing papers a week before the deadline because I wanted to space out my assignments and not stress about the deadlines. Having concrete deadlines and goals that are placed upon me make the decision to "commit" much easier. After all, if your manager tells you to finish a project by the end of next week, what can you really do?

There are two types of activities that I've noticed that I have trouble being consistent with. The first is committing to daily habits like eating healthy and exercising regularly. Even though I'm cognitively aware that these are important habits to practice, I find myself often times rationalizing that I can put it off until tomorrow. My instinct is that it's because these small choices don't have immediate consequences, so it doesn't feel like a big deal either way. Obviously, we know this isn't true. You can only "treat yourself" to so many slices of cake before it adds up on the scale. I think the key for dealing with this is to connect the smaller goal to a larger commitment to a values-aligned goal. For example, if I only think about working out as related to losing weight (superficial goal), it's easy to say I'll hit the gym tomorrow. If I think about how every workout is a chance to be the strong and healthy person I want to be, I feel more motivated to go today--to do right by me. Also, building in some flexibility around goals (this one is from Katy Milkman's book) enables us to feel like we don't have to be perfect and encourages us to try again when we get off track.

The second type of activity that seems challenging to maintain are personal interests that I have "not serious," meaning I haven't made a commitment to pursue it seriously, so not being consistent shouldn't be an issue--in theory. I have many interests and hobbies. This is just the type of person I am. I find most things interesting and worth trying at least once. Some hobbies like yoga and pottery are consistently interesting, but to different degrees of intensity at different times. There will be months, where I do yoga everyday and others where I don't touch my mat at all. But, I've been doing yoga for over a decade now and can say that this is a consistent hobby I truly enjoy and am committed to. Pottery is a little bit more challenging because I have to find a studio (often difficult to find a good one) and it's pretty expensive. I can do yoga for free at home or while watching a YouTube video, but making a single mug could take 3 days and cost $150+ after paying for all those classes, materials, and firing and glazing fees. I also have so many mugs, cups, plates, bowls, and the like that make it hard to keep going. It's still unclear whether or not we need to be consistent about leisure activities that are primarily for fun or enjoyment.

There's also a different kind of project where there isn't a clearly defined goal or motivation pushing it forward but for whatever reason, I've decided to start it. In the past, if I wasn't able to maintain consistency around a project, I deemed it an unworthy one because of the fact that it couldn't hold my interest. For these projects, I notice that I tend to move on to something else when a challenge arises that feels like it can't be easily resolved. If we wanted something bad enough, wouldn't we do everything in our power to make it happen? Maybe, maybe not. To be fair, quite a number of the projects that I've started and folded fall into this camp of things I wasn't really invested in. Is it okay to try things before we decide to go all in? Or should we only go all in once we've made up our mind. As someone with quite a few failed projects, I wonder if I would have one major successful project if I hadn't wasted all my time and energy trying those different things. At the same time, how can we know what we will or will not like unless we try? The jury is still out on this one.

There are also just some personal dynamics at play. As a manifestor (in the Human Design context), I know that I have an undefined sacral center, meaning my access to energy is not consistent. I have never been the type of person who can power through 9 hours of work sitting at a desk all day. Manifestors work in cycles of creation and rest. When I first learned that 80% of a manifestor's time is spent in rest to prepare for a burst of energy, I breathed a huge sigh of relief. I felt like I had permission to actually be who I am and that there is a reason why my energy comes and goes. Obviously, this has to have limits and can't be an excuse to get nothing done, but is a helpful insight to understand why the waves of focus come and go. This is also in the same vein of manifestors being here to initiate and get things started.

My word of the year is flow and I've been trying to honor the push and pull of energy as it comes up. Sometimes I find myself drawn to spending most of the day or week working and then there are others when I have no interest. I'm trying to learn to be okay with this because this is just how I am. After spending many years trying to fight this and always do more and ending up burned out, I'm realizing that the best way to be consistent is by honoring my energy when it comes and goes. At the same time, I need to add some guardrails to ensure that I still achieve my goals. I'll share more on this in my next post.

p.s. If you don't know what your human design type is, I would recommend you learn (just google it and you'll find lots of free quizzes). I know that learning about my type has been informative and helped to provide language around certain tendencies in a helpful way. Just like any other personality test, it's a way to better understand yourself and integrate new awareness where useful. Take what resonates and throw out the rest.