Two month countdown until I go back home, pt. 2
As I discussed in my last post, with only two months left before I return home, I am feeling quite pressed to start showing that I've made good use of this time, as well as articulate what I've learned over the last eight months.
I'll start with some things I've done, experienced and accomplished. I've been tracking different to-dos via Airtable* (referral link here - completely free to sign up and use). While the categories are a bit more specific there, for the purposes of this blog post, I've combined some of them to high-level themes I've been thinking about more holistically.
Some things I've done so far during my mini retirement:
Health and wellness
Resolve a major health issue I've been dealing with for the last five years and getting surgery to resolve it
Identify the source and treatment for an on-and-off health issue, which has caused a lot of discomfort over the past four years
Prioritize weight loss (17 lbs down so far since weight at layoff) with a goal of losing another 5-10 lbs by the summer
Redefine my perspective on health with Peter Attia's new book, Outlive*
Currently building a complete health review checklist for my parents and myself
Incredible experiences
Spending time with my best friend from college (the longest we've been together since graduating 🥹)
Visiting an elephant sanctuary and getting to feed, play with, and bathe elephants in Chiang Mai
Market tour and Thai cooking class in Bangkok
Spending a week and a half with my sister in Seoul
Watching some incredibly moving musical performances in Seoul including seeing Song Sohee (one of my favorite singers) live and also Korea Traditional Musical Orchestra play
Going on a yoga retreat in Chiang Mai
Going to Gyeongju with a close friend from college
Experiencing Christmas season in Seoul
Seeing the cherry blossoms bloom in Seoul
Going snorkeling in Bali
Visiting so many museums and landmarks in Korea
Taking a mochi making class with my sister
Going to an ice fishing festival and catching fish
Making silver rings from scratch with my sister
Eating the most delicious food all over Korea and trying new foods I didn't know existed
Learning and exploring various interests, hobbies, and new ventures
Getting back into pottery and improving my wheel throwing skills
Taking gayakeum lessons (type of Korean traditional instrument)
Taking a real estate pre-licensure course (about 1/2 way through)
Learning how to code
Getting back into writing via this blog and other projects
Learning how to trade options and making this a primary source of passive income
Starting Slay Negotiation
Publishing a mini retirement course (use code 30FOR30 for 30% off)
Getting certified in a new skill (private)
Taking a poetry class online
Self exploration, development and fulfillment
Learning about Korean history and culture
Spending time with my family in Korea
Rebuilding my yoga and meditation practice
For yoga, I often watch free YouTube videos from Yoga with Kassandra
For meditation, I use the Calm app which you can try it for free here)
Reading so much! I have so many favorites* but am sharing a few that have really stuck with me below. If you're in the US, download the free Libby app and connect it to your local library card to borrow e-books for free!
The Beauty of What Remainsby Stever Leder
Stolen Focusby Johann Hari
Strangers to Ourselves: Unsettled Minds and the Stories that Make Us by Rachel Aviv
Grief is Love by Marissa Renee Lee
Identifying specific long-term goals for my 30s (vs. previously focused mostly on short/medium-term goals)
This is helping me prioritize what matters or doesn't. For example, if my long-term goal is to get out of having a 9-5, then it puts me in a different mindset about what jobs I may or may not pursue knowing that my ultimate goal isn't to climb the corporate ladder but build wealth and skills to become financially independent
It was a helpful exercise to list some of these things out, because it has been a lovely reminder that the past eight months have been truly healing, exciting, exploratory, and a time dedicated just for me. Grouping them this way also makes me feel good about how I've spent my time and each of these categories will only enable me to be more healthy, happy, and rejuvenated for whatever comes in the next chapter.
A lot of the takeaways from this experience thus far are things I've known all along but really never prioritized, either because I was too emotionally exhausted to or thought that I would be able to do it "later." This past year has shown me that we really don't know what will happen and when and thus the best way to spend our time is to focus on being present and do our best to balance our current and future needs/desires.
Health is the foundation of everything else. There's perhaps no other area in our lives that we should be investing in when we are young and have the opportunity to do so preventatively. In my 20s, I always put off my health until things really got bad because I took it for granted, but I really want to make this a priority going forward.
If you haven't read Peter Attia's book, Outlive, I highly recommend it. It has completely changed the way I view aging, health, and our ability to impact the quality of our lives in our later years. If you want to get a sense of his style, check out his interview on the Huberman Lab podcast. The book is quite dense, but has a lot of really important information and highlights the most important, up-to-date scientific findings on the topics he covers.
Our time on earth is super limited and we really only have one chance to make the best of it. On the days that I am feeling down, feeling unproductive, or questioning what the hell I am doing with my life, I asked myself: If I knew I was going to die in six months, how would I feel about this moment? This has been a grounding question that really puts both small and little things into perspective. When I find myself worrying about superficial things, that question reminds me that it really doesn't matter, that it's okay to just be here, and that I'm fine exactly where I am.
Recognizing our insignificance in this huge universe is humbling and helpful in reminding us that we don't have to be so hard on ourselves.
Just start. There are a lot of things we're scared to try or pursue but know that we want to deep down. Things don't have to be perfect, or even great. Just taking one step towards your goal is important. Otherwise, we'll be stuck in the inertia of it all and make excuses for years. Not everything has to be high stakes, even if it feels like it. We can choose to put a small amount of effort (what we can control) rather than focus on all the possible outcomes (out of our control).
Life is about so much more than work and all the shiny stuff we're constantly chasing on the outside to feel like we're getting ahead. Part of life is to simply be, to enjoy and revel in experiences we can only have as us, to connect with people, to challenge ourselves. When your time and attention isn't focused on your job, you really do ask yourself who am I and who can I be? How can I just be me? It's been really freeing to show up as someone with very few attachments/commitments because it has shown me that a different kind of life is possible and that when I do add things back into my life, I will be a lot more selective about what I let become permanent fixtures.
Purpose (which may or may not be related to work) and a sense of working towards something greater than yourself is important. While it has been great getting to focus on myself and work on some stuff in my personal life that seriously needed working out, I do feel that I need a sense of working towards something to feel content. After all of this time, I still don't know if for me personally this means having a career I love. I've seen for other people their sense of purchase be their family/kids, a creative pursuit, connection to spirituality, teaching or guiding others, etc.
I've clearly still not escaped internalized capitalism. I do feel like I am meant to be a full-time entrepreneur but also recognize that this is still a very ego-driven vision for myself. I think I would love to build something that helps to solve a genuine need in the communities that matter most to me (POC, women, older adults). I think this is why I find traditional startups building "cool shit" to be an absolute turnoff. Sure, I enjoy using these products but they're really not solving anything important or meaningful. Entrepreneurship in the form of solving first world problems for the richest of the richest has zero appeal to me.
Exploration and travel are fun, but also highlight the benefits of stability. The grass is always greener on the other side. I have enjoyed my travels deeply, but starting last month have really been craving a sense of normalcy, having a daily routine, and weekly schedule. My life has been exciting but there hasn't been much stability. Checking in and out of a new Airbnb every 2-4 weeks and living out of a suitcase is pretty exhausting (tough problems, I know). But because of all of this, when I do go back home, I'll be more grateful and aware of the value that stability offers.
Consistency is one of my biggest weaknesses, but is critical for achieving what we want. This is the not-so-secret "secret sauce" to success that many of us discount or overlook. I know I have. I have a lot to unpack here so I'll expand on this in a future post.
It's good to have high expectations and want more, but it's important to acknowledge the wins and also to identify when enough is enough. One of biggest opportunity costs of taking this mini retirement is that I've essentially paused saving and investing in my pursuit of FIRE. I feel like there are days when I get kind of crazy about my spending or wish I had done more in my 20s. While some of this is a bummer since I can't turn back the clock, the fact that I can take this time off (without taking on debt or relying on anyone else) is a huge testament of the work that I have been putting in over the years. While it's not perfect, it has been the right path to me. Of course, I want to prioritize my FIRE journey more aggressively when I am back at work, but a temporary pause doesn't have to be a setback but just a stop along the way.
I am resilient and independent. Traveling as a single, female woman and handling all kinds of unexpected situations has shown me that I can handle a lot more than I thought and a more than I give myself credit for. I've mostly been in safe places, but being alone so much has taught me that I have and can rely on myself. I've been in situations that have required quick thinking and decisive action, as well as times where I've had to think think carefully think about risks and tradeoffs. I hope that in the future, when life gets tough back in "the real world," I can look inward and trust myself to make good decisions, because I have a made a lot of good ones compared to bad ones, all-in-all.
If you're still reading, thanks for taking the time to read this long post. While the list of things done and learned is not exhaustive, I'll pause for here since I still have two months left in Korea and an unknown number of months left in my mini retirement. To end, I am super grateful that I've been able to make this dream come true, especially doing it sooner rather than later. This is probably the riskiest thing I've ever done and I'm really enjoying it. I don't know where I'll end up but I'm excited to see how this all shakes out.
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