Why is it so hard to do nothing?

After I was laid off, I have found myself scrolling on LinkedIn (a lot) and seeing that a lot of other people had been laid off. One of the most surprising things that I’ve noticed is the number of people that immediately post about having been laid off and that they are #opentowork, often on the same day or in the same week that they lost their job. If nothing else, being laid off can be shocking and a situation that likely many weren’t expecting and thus they were unprepared. But, I guess this is the reality that many people face when they need the income their job provides. A survey from June 2022 conducted by Insight Global found that not only were 78% of American workers scared about the security of their job if a recession were to hit, but 56% would not be financially prepared or unsure of how to prepare for a possible recession.

Despite understanding that people need their income to pay for rent, put food on the table, and cover other expenses, it still shook me to see how so many people were immediately launching into a fully-fledged job search so soon. Didn’t people need time to: (a) process their experience—mentally and emotionally; (b) sort out the logistics of their situation; and (c) just take a break from it all?

I want to acknowledge that I’m privileged to not be in a financial situation where I need to look for a new 9-5 immediately. I joined the FIRE (financial independence / retire early) movement last year, after having discovered the concept on Instagram and have been actively working towards increasing my savings and investments. I also don’t have kids, a mortgage, or significant debt (outside of manageable monthly student loan payments). So by the time I was laid off, I had saved an emergency fund in a high yield savings account, have a taxable brokerage account I can withdraw from if need be, and on top of that was given a generous severance package from my previous employer.

At the same time, I can’t help but think the desire to jump back into the thick of things is driven by more than a financial need. Underneath the first layer of anxiety about financial stability is the urge to constantly be working, to be “grinding,” to show that you are actively playing a part in the capitalist machine. You might’ve been laid off but you aren’t going to sit around and do nothing. You are going to get on LinkedIn, network, apply to jobs, and be ready to spend your entire life working for someone else. I say this as someone who made it a goal to do absolutely nothing productive for at least the first month of my #funemployment. I didn’t want to be one of those people whose identify is so wrapped up in their title, in what they do, in their salary that I had to jump back into things right away. I wanted to spend my days waking up without an alarm clock, enjoying my coffee (away from a screen), reading, exercising, taking long walks outside, cooking meals from scratch, hanging out with friends and family, running errands without rushing, and so on. But, like I said at the beginning, I found myself scrolling on LinkedIn…a lot.

I was doing all of the abovementioned activities that I had been dreaming about spending my days doing, but for some reason it couldn’t fully quell a sense of anxiety brooding under the surface. Why was I turning my attention to a bunch of side projects like learning how to trade options, building a new personal website, looking to try new freelancing work? Why do all of these things have to do with “being productive”? While these are certainly ways to make money, they aren’t really productive in the ways I was hoping to spend this time. Why is it so hard to do nothing? I found myself constantly pondering this question.

Again, I think it’s because our society has this deeply-ingrained belief and value system that in order to be of value, to be worthy of anything (respect, love, interest) we have to “be productive” and “contribute to society.” And in our society, that means working and making money. I find this to be such an ironic value to hold onto so desperately when only 36% of US employees are engaged in their work. On the flip side, 15% are actively disengaged with the thing they spend their bulk of their time. This is the same reason why our society completely discounts and disregards our elders, disabled individuals, and those who for any other reason cannot or choose not to work (think about how little respect stay-at-home moms get).

When we get closer to death, I can guarantee you that most of us will not be lamenting the time we didn't work. We won’t be sad that we didn’t spend more hours on the job or the break in-between jobs looking more diligently for our next role. We’ll be thinking about the time we could have spent with the people we love, the experiences and memories we could’ve made traveling the world, the social events we missed because we were busy taking a client meeting, the moments we could have been wholly present that were instead ruined by continuously refreshing email.

I want to challenge you to doing nothing, to refrain from being productive. I want you to exist, be present, to live. Practice living your dream life in retirement now. You don’t have to wait until you’re 65, 70, 75 and gray with reduced mobility. You can do the things you want to do now. You might be thinking this all sounds great, but you’re too busy, because unlike me, well you have to show up to your job tomorrow. I get it. It’s tough to integrate the “do nothing” mentality when you’re used to go, go, go, when your system is pumped with cortisol, and you’re addicted to the busyness of your day-to-day. Even so, I challenge you to take some time for yourself, to slow down, to build in breaks (throughout the day, month, and year) where you can do nothing.

You are worthy of love and respect regardless of what you do (or don’t do). Just by existing and being here on this planet, you deserve to live fully in joy. Even if most of us have to spend the majority of our time working for money, it doesn’t mean this is the value that we should hold in highest regard. It’s just another constraint we’ve been presented with and a distraction from our true purpose of being. Sometimes we forget this truth about ourselves and others, so I encourage to remind yourself everyday and to also remind the people around you that you love them for just being them.

In case you ever find yourself with some additional free time and you’re looking for some non-productive things to do, here’s a list of possible things to try:

• Sit on your couch and look out the window while you daydream
• Go for a walk outside, listening to some music
• Deep clean or organize any part of your home that needs attention
• Listen to a podcast
• Call you mom/dad/sister/brother/someone you love
• Invite an old friend you haven’t seen in a while to lunch
• Go to see a movie in the middle of the day—alone
• Visit a dog shelter and pet some dogs
• Volunteer
• Cook something from scratch (in my case I made kimchi)
• Do some yoga
• Take a road trip
• Travel somewhere near or far
• Try a new restaurant you’ve been meaning to go to
• Read a book
• Write in a journal
• Schedule a doctor’s appointment you’ve been pushing off
• Tie dye a shirt
• Go swimming/kayaking/hiking
• Spend time with your partner/kids/friends without your phone
• Get a massage or give yourself a massage
• Change your hairstyle (dye it, cut it, or style it differently from your usual look)
• Meditate or pray
• Watch a video about something random you’re interested in
• Take a class to learn something new (art, pottery, martial arts, anything!)
• DIY something—make candles, crochet a scarf, fix something broken around the home