Taking a break from the house hunt and the pressure to be a homeowner
I’ve been looking to purchase a house for well over six months, having really ramped up my search since the end of the summer. I have probably seen close to fifty home and made two offers, but still no home. The market is definitely improving and becoming a little more balanced for buyers. There are way more homes available now (even in December) than there were over the summer. We’re seeing houses sit sit on the market longer with many doing price reductions after 15-30 days. That said, for the price point that I’m looking at, it’s still very competitive. For example, the last offer that I made had an escalation clause going up to 13% over ask. The seller received 10 offers and likely got multiple offers 20%+ over ask.
In total honesty, I have been feeling very dejected in this process. Coming to terms with the reality that my budget doesn’t allow for a lot in the area that I’m looking in is not a fun feeling. Half a million dollars is a lot of money but it will barely get you a decrepit, 100-year old home with one bathroom. That’s before the $50K-100K+ of work that is needed to get market rents or somewhat livable from a sanitary and cosmetic perspective. Initially, I was focusing on 2-3 unit homes that I could house hack, but it is hard to find anything under $800K-$1M in this category and the ones that were somewhat affordable were truly scary. I’m not even sure that after putting in $100K+ of renovations that those properties would ever be cash flow neutral, let alone positive. So then, I started looking at single family homes that I could do a two-year live-in flip, but again, it seemed unlikely that even with renovations, those homes could be cash flow positive. The two offers that I made were for homes that seemed like would be cash flow netrual and maybe even positive if you could raise rents a little.
The last house that I mentioned I put an offer in was a promising property, but I was kind of hoping my offer wouldn’t get accepted while waiting to hear back from the seller. As much as I’ve been feeling like I need to purchase a home, I think deep down I don’t feel that excited about being a homeowner and all of the tradeoffs it entails. In some ways, I’ve been over-compensating for the fact that I’m still single at an age that I assumed I’d be married, or at least in a serious relationship. I think I’ve been justifying being able to buy a home by myself as evidence that I’m not “behind in life.” But, somehow buying a home alone and looking at 3 bedroom homes to live in alone makes me feel even more single and depressed.
On a more practical level, I am planning a three month trip in the fall and if I were to purchase a house right now, it would mean living in it for six months or less and then paying my mortgage for an empty home that I’m unable to enjoy while also paying for all my travel expenses. Knowing that if things work out the way I would like them to, I will be in Korea for the majority of 2026, making a home purchase make even less sense. Up until now, the timing might have worked where I could fix up the house and then try to lease it out while I was gone but now that we’re a couple weeks away from 2025, that window has pretty much closed.
Given that the real estate market looks like it’s starting to cool down, I think it’s okay to wait. If I had a good reason or need to purchase, like starting a family or needing to send my kids to a specific school, I think I’d be a lot more motivated to be a competitive buyer, but I don’t. I’ve realized that in today’s market, I simply cannot compete. My personal thesis is that there is going to be a big economic recession and/or housing crisis during the Trump presidency and that there will be a really good opportunity to buy then. In hindsight, during the Covid-19 pandemic was a great time to buy and we’re coming up on 4-ish years since the end. Thinking about 7-year real estate cycles, I think it’s very possible that another crisis will strike and that it will offer a much better opportunity to buy than right now.
While I’m taking my foot off the pedal, I won’t be exiting the market completely. I’ll continue to watch what happens, set up showings selectively, and keep my eyes and ears open. While I don’t have a home to show for it, if I take a step back and reflect on the last six months, I’ve learned so much through the process of constantly following the market, seeing so many homes, running the numbers on hundreds of homes. In terms of whether or not to keep my license, I’m leaning towards keeping it even though it costs me about $2K per year. Having access to the MLS and being able to set up showing when I want is really convenient and probably the only reason why I’ve looked at as many houses as I have. It would be more of a hassle to let it expire and then try to reactivate it later. Plus, you never know and maybe something fantastic will present in the next few months. I’m hoping that taking the pressure off of buying right away will help me get clarity on why I actually want to buy and help me figure out the right timing.
Like most things in life, what’s meant for us will find it's way to us and so as annoyed as I am that I’ve sunk so much time and energy into this process with nothing to show for it, I fully believe that if either of the two homes I had put an offer in had been for me, I would've gotten them. Since I didn’t, they were not meant for me, so there’s nothing to be upset about. I’m incredibly lucky to enjoy my current living situation at home and feel much better knowing I’m not on some arbitrary timeline imposed by myself to purchase. 2024 truly has been a year of planting seeds in the garden without any blossoming, but that just means the best has yet to come. I’m excited to keep learning in the upcoming year and find better opportunities than the ones I’ve intentionally said no to—cheers!