Reflecting on the unexpected year of 2022

If I had to choose one word to summarize my year, it would have to be: unexpected. Since January, this year has kept me on my toes and has surprised me with plot twists every other month or so. In that way, I've kind of been spontaneous in the sense that I feel like I've had to very quickly respond to unexpected situations.

Back when I took my consulting job in 2021, I fully expected to be there for 2-3 years at a minimum, but I ended up leaving that job in March (just after a little over a year), which was a big surprise. I did not at all anticipate looking for or starting a new job in 2022. To then be able to take a trip to the Bahamas and Korea in-between jobs was also a surprise. I started my new job in April and was shocked to find that it was nothing like what I had expected...only to be laid off in July, less than three months after starting. My career took me for an up-and-down rollercoaster for the first 7 months of the year. Throw in getting Covid and then my parents getting Covid unexpectedly, you can see how those first seven months were a whirlwind or very high highs and very low lows. Completely burned out and in desperate need of rest, I pulled forward my mini retirement (which I hadn't expected to take place for a few years). Then in October as I was getting ready to leave for Asia, I learned that I needed to get surgery before leaving for Asia and then had to delay my flight to Singapore by about two weeks to allow enough post-surgery recovery time. And now, living in Korea feels like an absolute dream. Someone, pinch me.

What brought you joy?

Travel and spending time with family has been at the top of the list. This year, I took a trip to the Bahamas with my sister at my favorite resort, a family vacation in Utah (Zion, Bryce, Las Vegas), a trip to Korea with my mom, and then the start of my mini retirement. I spent two weeks with my college roommate in Singapore and have spent a month here in Seoul. Memorable events include going shopping with my sister in NYC after I got my bonus, going down the crazy water slide in the Bahamas, hiking Kanarra Falls in Utah, watching the Shin Lim magic show in Vegas, playing roulette at the casinos in Vegas, eating cake with my mom in Korea, having lunch at my favorite seafood restaurant on a roadtrip with my sister, NYC outing with my family, having lunch with my best friend in Singapore, watching my favorite singer perform in Korea, having dinner with my other best friend in Korea, and so many more priceless moments.

What disappointed you this year?

Not getting the results I wanted from the negotiation at my original job was disappointing and ultimately set everything else in motion. I was already planning on doing my best and just accepting the results, but going through that process, I felt dissatisfied. I was also disappointed that the new job felt like a poor fit from both a job and company perspective. It also made me doubt myself and my ability to make the right judgements. I had been so sure that this was a good choice and for it to be so far from that was really hard to process and accept.

What goals did you accomplish and which ones did you not achieve?

I reviewed my 2022 goals yesterday and was pleasantly surprised that I was able to cross off many of the ones I wanted to, especially around health. These include lowering my cholesterol, losing weight, exercising more and drinking more water. I was also able to achieve some wealth goals like maxing out my 401(k) contribution, getting a raise, and adding a new income stream. However, I made the least progress on my financial goals, given that I ended up working less (since I was laid off) and despite having saved around 40% of my income, I have also had to live off those savings since I stopped working. I also hoped to buy a house this year, but because I couldn't get a mortgage without a job, I had to stop that process, too. I am also proud of having launched my negotiation coaching practice and my mini retirement course.

What did you learn in 2022 that will be a part of your 2023 goals?

I have learned that I do not want to be financially/identity dependent on my job while employed by someone else. Your whole life is in the hands of someone else and that feeling has been highlighted by the experience of being laid off. And on the flip side, I've also experienced complete freedom when you don't have anyone to answer to and that feels amazing. I've gotten to taste what true independence feels like and I will be working hard in 2023 to achieve FIRE sooner than later. I think I've also solidified that working towards FIRE is more important than other goals, e.g., finding a job that brings me joy, etc.

I have learned that I give up quite easily. I tend to brush things off as "not meant to be" but I realize that I could probably do with more grit and patience. In some ways, I let myself off too easily and in other ways, I'm too hard on myself. I need to give myself more time, energy, and leeway to achieve certain goals. Just because I don't accomplish 100% within a week, it doesn't mean it isn't a goal worth pursuing.

Who influenced you or made a difference in your life?

Family was a big influence, especially since I spent a lot of time with my parents this year. One particular moment that comes to mind is the compassion my dad offered me when I was laid off. He just asked me if I was okay and when I said yes, he told me to take a break and rest since I had worked so hard. How desperately I needed to hear those words and be seen and acknowledged. I'll always remember that small moment of kindness that made all the difference.

What do you want to let go of in 2023?

I have gained and lost weight over the course of the pandemic and have continued to struggle with my relationship with my physical body--this has been a lifelong battle. I want to stop wishing that my body was different and just accept it and love it for how it is. Even more so, loving my body means letting go of bad habits like overeating and drinking and embracing more healthy ones.

I also want to let go of the compulsion to get riled up by the little things. While this is certainly an ongoing process, this year I have been more aware of when I drive myself crazy over truly small and insignificant things. I want to really let go of this next year and conserve my energy for things that actually matter.

If this year were a milestone on a project plan, what would the milestone be?

This year would be hitting the reset button. Resetting my expectations about career and who I want to be / how I want to spend my time in this world. Embracing rest and renewal as a way to reset for better things in the future.