Figuring out what you're really meant to do
I am currently reading the book, What You're Really Meant to Do: A Road Map for Reaching Your Unique Potential by Robert S. Kaplan. The title jumped out at me as I am very much in the process of figuring out what it is I'm meant to do with this life.
In the very first chapter, one of the first exercises he recommends is to write down your definition of success and to write down the steps you believe will be necessary to achieve your dreams. Whenever I write down what I want, I end up focusing on two things: freedom and generosity. Freedom means getting to spend my time the way I want, with the people I love. Generosity means getting to give to loved ones and causes that I care about. In order to achieve these two things, it boils down to: making money. Here's where I get stuck. I don't think I was put on this planet to make money or to spend the majority of my time and energy on the question of making money. But for most people who are engaged in money-making activities like working a job or investing, we actually do spend much of our time on earth in the pursuit of money. Of course it’s not money for money’s sake but as a means to the things we want, but either way, we still actively engage our time and energy to make money.
My friend suggested this thought experiment. If you survived a post-apocalyptic world, let's say on a deserted island, where no one except for you survives, what would you pursue? This question probes us to think about who we want to be outside the context of social relationships and pressures. What would we pursue or not pursue if we didn't care about leaving a legacy, relationships with other people, or being judged by others? It also gives us a chance to think about what we would do without any economic concerns since there's nothing to buy or sell since there is no one else. Beyond building shelter, getting food and water, and creating other bare necessities for living, how would you spend your time? Would you spend all day enjoying the sunshine on the beach? Would you go out and explore the island? Would you create art? What kind of life would you live?
My initial response was that I'd lie on the beach all day, but I know that would get boring. My guess is that I would attempt to find some kind of clay that could be used to make pottery. Maybe I would explore the island, build a house, and try to start a garden. So, how do we relate this back to the real world? I definitely want to create a life that includes a home that I love, growing fresh food, creating art, and traveling.
I've thought for a long time that running a business that I own would feel like the greatest use of my talents, but rarely has anything in the business world really moved me or made me feel grateful to be a part of this world. Yes, I enjoy the goods and services provided by many businesses but also struggle with the fact that our consumption is driving the degradation of our planet and endangering the lives of future generations. As much as some people might celebrate the likes of Jeff Bezos and Mark Zuckerberg, I believe that if we all created our own versions of Amazon and Facebook, we'd already be extinct as a species.
Going back to the definition of success, if all I really want is freedom and to be generous, then does it really matter what I do to make money (of course, barring anything that hurts other people or society)? Do I really need to be a successful, girl boss who owns and runs my own business? Running a business is much harder than most people think it is. At the end of the day, you own a business because it makes you money. If not, you'd have to shut it down. My peer circle has many talented founders who made Forbes 30 Under 30 and in many ways my desire to be a founder stems from wanting to be a part of that elite circle (kind of like what banking was to me when I first graduated from college). It’s hard to really know what we’d really pursue if we didn’t have the social pressures we face in real life. At the same time, asking ourselves why we’re doing what we’re doing to understand our motivations is critical for getting one step closer to what we’re actually meant to do.